Four days, three nights. Day one. Pt. one.
So my wife earned herself a vacation for two to Ixtapa, Mexico for working hard all year selling trolley and double decker tours. John Abrahamsen also worked very hard and won the same thing...as well as being voted "Employee of the Year" (I'm sure he narrowly defeated my wife) so he got a second trip. So that means he could waste one on us. We vacationed with John and Julie. We vacationed with another married couple. That is the beginning of the end, isn't it? Now we're middle-aged, right? Oh well, it was a really sweet beginning of the end.
First, we plan to get up at 3AM to make it to the airport by 4AM to be on the 6AM flight. Cathy was kind enough to let me sleep for an hour and a half as she packed, under the condition that I drove us to the airport. We actually got up around 3:15AM, stopped at Walgreens. There was a line at 3:25 AM. We get out to the airport area around 4AM but we had been led to believe that there was valet parking as part of the package we were participating in. There was if you made reservations but, of course, that was printed nowhere on the literature we had. So then we desperately speed away looking for remote parking. We find it at 4:40AM or so but as we're pulling in we see a sign indicating that the city monitors this lot and if you have three or more unpaid parking tickets you may be booted. I have three. Do I get nervous? Usually I would but I'm not ruining a vacation over something that might happen.
We get over there, meet with the Abrahamsens and then eventually board. We are all very tired. They are seated at the rear of the plane, us toward the front. We all want to sleep. However, the Churchills get seated next to a toothless, half-deaf ( and therefore extremely loud), annoying, racist, self-proclaimed comedian who insisted on talking to me the whole time.
He said things like, "It looks like we're not going very fast but we're movin'! That's really incredible!" and "The roads look real straight from up here." and "One time the pilot said, 'If you look down, you'll see Indianapolis', then it was maybe fifteen minutes later and we were landing in Chicago! It's really incredible!" oh and "My wife died last year." Now do you all feel bad? Don't. She might be lucky to have moved on.
This guy looked like if Wilford Brimley had been given a curb job. Smelled like a fart when he talked. And talked like John Candy in "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" but without any of the pathos that you'd want in a movie loser.
At one point he complained about a form we had to fill out, "Why don't they do it month, day, year like we do it?" And then my wife woke up and told him that the US is one of the only places that does it like we do. That was after two hours plus of her rolling her eyes the moment she was awakened by this guy. She didn't like him and she thanked me for taking one for the team and sitting next to him and absorbing all his conversation. 'T'weren't nothin', ma'am. Crazy people give you something to type about.
First, we plan to get up at 3AM to make it to the airport by 4AM to be on the 6AM flight. Cathy was kind enough to let me sleep for an hour and a half as she packed, under the condition that I drove us to the airport. We actually got up around 3:15AM, stopped at Walgreens. There was a line at 3:25 AM. We get out to the airport area around 4AM but we had been led to believe that there was valet parking as part of the package we were participating in. There was if you made reservations but, of course, that was printed nowhere on the literature we had. So then we desperately speed away looking for remote parking. We find it at 4:40AM or so but as we're pulling in we see a sign indicating that the city monitors this lot and if you have three or more unpaid parking tickets you may be booted. I have three. Do I get nervous? Usually I would but I'm not ruining a vacation over something that might happen.
We get over there, meet with the Abrahamsens and then eventually board. We are all very tired. They are seated at the rear of the plane, us toward the front. We all want to sleep. However, the Churchills get seated next to a toothless, half-deaf ( and therefore extremely loud), annoying, racist, self-proclaimed comedian who insisted on talking to me the whole time.
He said things like, "It looks like we're not going very fast but we're movin'! That's really incredible!" and "The roads look real straight from up here." and "One time the pilot said, 'If you look down, you'll see Indianapolis', then it was maybe fifteen minutes later and we were landing in Chicago! It's really incredible!" oh and "My wife died last year." Now do you all feel bad? Don't. She might be lucky to have moved on.
This guy looked like if Wilford Brimley had been given a curb job. Smelled like a fart when he talked. And talked like John Candy in "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" but without any of the pathos that you'd want in a movie loser.
At one point he complained about a form we had to fill out, "Why don't they do it month, day, year like we do it?" And then my wife woke up and told him that the US is one of the only places that does it like we do. That was after two hours plus of her rolling her eyes the moment she was awakened by this guy. She didn't like him and she thanked me for taking one for the team and sitting next to him and absorbing all his conversation. 'T'weren't nothin', ma'am. Crazy people give you something to type about.
posted by Churchill at 8:22 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home