And now the news.

Meteorologists are like psychics. It's a scam. Yesterday they predicted that it would be in the fifties and thunderstorm. They also predicted it for today. Both days it was in the thirties and it did not rain. There I was in my bermuda shorts and snorkel with my reenforced aluminum umbrella (with rubber handle) and I was freezing and sweating all at the same time. If you went to a psychic and they said tomorrow will be a banner day for relationships for you but instead the next day your cousin died, it would be the exact same thing. So I think what should happen: All meteorologists should work a short stint with the psychic friends network so that they can at least make it sound that they might have been right about the weather even though they had no idea what they were talking about.
"No, I didn't say it was going to rain. What I said was that something with the letter 'r' or 'a' in it might happen. But I also told you to be really open to the possibilities of any type of weather. There's an 'r' and an 'a' in 'generally sunny'. See."
And psychics should be forced to predict with balls. Don't be vague.
"Tomorrow you will have emotional turmoil in the morning leading to job loss in the afternoon followed by sporadic drinking in the evening."

Good night.