Osage Pride!

Anybody out there know anything about tracking your ancestry in a way that's proves Native American ancestry in the eyes of the government? Because, I've had it. I'm done paying for stuff. Sure, my great-great-great-great grandfather Claremore (for whom Claremore, Oklahoma is named) signed some treaties that were damaging to his Osage brothers. But, hey, if it had been a good treaty, would it have been honored? Nope. Three one fourth of my ancestry would have taken good advantage of them and stolen their land. One eighth of my ancestry would have been living it up next to the Clampetts, The Hatfields and the McCoys. And half of me would have been up in Canada treating blacks and Native Americans fairly because Canada is, as you know, "Frozen Paradise".
I already know what my native american name would be. Laughing Horse. Perfect, huh? The problem with native american names are that most of your really good friends could end up with your same first name. For instance, I like to laugh and joke and I like other people who laugh and joke. Therefore most of my friends would be Laughing Something. If I was an engineer, I'd be Precise Beaver. And any friends of mine that wanted to keep their jobs would also have the first name of Precise. Right? Apparently, I did have a great-great uncle named "Bad Tempered Buffalo". I don't know why but I've got this idea that he was actually a Klingon.
So if anyone has any ideas or knows anyone else who has had to do this, let me know. I'm pretty sure the reason why I'm still poor is that my grandfather started life at a disadvantage (being a half-breed) which led to my dad starting life at a disadvantage, leading to me and my siblings having the same disadvantage. And if I keep telling myself that, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about still driving trolleys for a living.
By the way, folks. When I'm fully reconnected to my Osage roots, I'm blaming all of you all the time for me not having a full class of Kahlua and cream in front of me when I'm at the bar. And I won't be paying any loans back either.
Take that whitey.