Enfrightenment...The Musical.
So I'm just this crazy:
Remember what I told you about "my man Chopra". Fuck that guy. I listened to the full five hours of "How to Know God" and by 4 and a half hours in I was shaking and panicking like an 82' ford pickup that had never had it's oil changed. Luckily, right about then, Chris Hauser called (in a very Jedi-like fashion) and said he felt like he should call me. I picked up as many pieces of my brain as I could find and jammed them into the ripped bag of my heart and stuffed them in my pocket and then I went to Chris' Haus...apartment.
I've found that talking about it and debating my weird philosophical problems with others helps at least until we're done talking. I've also found that, for now, I need to take all the medicine that the doctor will give me. I am finding the power of now and the unreality of eternity...which is good. I figured out (philosophically, anyway) that eternity is only a mathematical extraction but really has no basis in real life. Here's what I mean.
If time is infinite then at least one of these two things must happen (or not happen). 1. If time extends infinitely behind you, then you can never have gotten hear because you'll always be waiting for that bus that's never going to end it's route. AND/OR 2. If time extends eternally ahead of you, then you never get to infinity, which means it never exists.
There's also the idea that the ... never mind this is the part I don't want to share with anyone, lest I passive aggressively cut the legs out from under my own theory.
A friend said that maybe all this pain I'm going through right now is good. Like it was a form of "enlightenment". I don't know about all that but it sure is changing me, little by little.
For the record, I'm not looking at this as being "important" or "special" or "unique" or "better than ?". I'm just looking at this as being where I'm at.
By the way, there's also infinite smallness and infinite largeness which prevents the possibility of anything existing at all anyway. So reality's kind of what you make of it.
I will forget all of this in the morning when I'm anxiously wandering around my apartment trying to decide what to eat with my pills.
By the way, I saw my psychologist for the first time today. Surprise! This may have little to do with the state of reality and the universe. It might have to do with some shortcoming in my upbringing. Huh. I guess I should've known that. Anyway, the psychologist appears to be a sharp woman who was cutting through all the bullshit that my brain is distracting me with.
Remember what I told you about "my man Chopra". Fuck that guy. I listened to the full five hours of "How to Know God" and by 4 and a half hours in I was shaking and panicking like an 82' ford pickup that had never had it's oil changed. Luckily, right about then, Chris Hauser called (in a very Jedi-like fashion) and said he felt like he should call me. I picked up as many pieces of my brain as I could find and jammed them into the ripped bag of my heart and stuffed them in my pocket and then I went to Chris' Haus...apartment.
I've found that talking about it and debating my weird philosophical problems with others helps at least until we're done talking. I've also found that, for now, I need to take all the medicine that the doctor will give me. I am finding the power of now and the unreality of eternity...which is good. I figured out (philosophically, anyway) that eternity is only a mathematical extraction but really has no basis in real life. Here's what I mean.
If time is infinite then at least one of these two things must happen (or not happen). 1. If time extends infinitely behind you, then you can never have gotten hear because you'll always be waiting for that bus that's never going to end it's route. AND/OR 2. If time extends eternally ahead of you, then you never get to infinity, which means it never exists.
There's also the idea that the ... never mind this is the part I don't want to share with anyone, lest I passive aggressively cut the legs out from under my own theory.
A friend said that maybe all this pain I'm going through right now is good. Like it was a form of "enlightenment". I don't know about all that but it sure is changing me, little by little.
For the record, I'm not looking at this as being "important" or "special" or "unique" or "better than ?". I'm just looking at this as being where I'm at.
By the way, there's also infinite smallness and infinite largeness which prevents the possibility of anything existing at all anyway. So reality's kind of what you make of it.
I will forget all of this in the morning when I'm anxiously wandering around my apartment trying to decide what to eat with my pills.
By the way, I saw my psychologist for the first time today. Surprise! This may have little to do with the state of reality and the universe. It might have to do with some shortcoming in my upbringing. Huh. I guess I should've known that. Anyway, the psychologist appears to be a sharp woman who was cutting through all the bullshit that my brain is distracting me with.
posted by Churchill at 9:21 PM
2 Comments:
"the power of now and the unreality of eternity..."
"reality's kind of what you make of it"
That's what I've been trying to say. I guess we all need to get to our own conclusions even if they're the same as everyone else's.
Now it's time for a cream soda.
Oh, and one more thing.
I have discarded my old G-d for one that works. I'm trying to decide between Homer Simpson and Earl Hickey. Earl is almost a shoe-in because of Jason Lee's hotness factor, but that would be sacreligious.
PS - First person to say "mmm, sacrelicious" gets bonked on the head and told to go read a goddamn book.
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