How to be successful!
It's been rumored that if I just focussed, I'd take over the world. Very deluded people have been spreading that rumor. However, I'm exactly deluded enough to believe them. So now, here's how I'm focussing:
This weekend, the wife and I are getting an iMac (we decided against the Power Mac) G5. Then, that's when I start making all those short films that Scott and I have been wanting to make. Maybe next year during snubfest, Don Hall will see our next project and say, "Excellent idea, excellently executed." But hopefully the world take over will have progressed beyond snubfest at this point.
This is where part two comes in.
I'm going to go to the website of hypnotist Marshall Sylver "The greatest hypnotist I've ever seen." says Howard Stern. And I'm going to buy his videos on how to hypnotize others (and the slender one and the non-smoking one because Cathy is having trouble quitting smoking) and then I'm going to hypnotize everyone that sees me into telling others how great I am and then to vote for me whenever there is voting involved. And then finally when enough people convince both Andrew Alexander, Mick Napier and Charna Halpern that Lorne Michaels needs me, I'll get on Saturday Night Live and I'll hypnotize all of them until only the things that I want on the air will get there. Mostly that'll be stuff that I or Scott write and star in.
Then, I'll hypnotize the country on the air and then I'll start making crazy movies from the white house because I'll be president too by then (not through hypnosis but because the american people vote for the guy who seems the friendliest.).
Then, I'll return the videos to Marshall Sylver and tell him they didn't work so I could get my money back. Then I'll give Don Hall a ride home on the back of the worlds most intelligent burro. A burro that I will have hypnotized to play poker and smoke cigars which Don will sell him.
That's how to be successful.
Then we'll all die, me last, and when I get to the after life, everyone will be waiting there for me shaking their fists in mock displays of anger. Many will say, "You crazy guy! Here's a funny hat!" and they'll give me funny hats. And then Marshall Sylver will shake my hand and say, "Do you really know that poker smoker burro?" And I'll be like, "Sure." and I'll walk off like I didn't know that he wanted to meet the burro. But then I'll find, much to my dismay that hypnosis doesn't work in a completely telepathic world. Only brute force! And then Marshall Sylver will say "1,2,3 awake!" and I'll finish this blog entry in my regular apartment without any influence on anyone. And then I'll say, "It's nice to pretend." and I'll have a bowl of cereal. Then this weekend I'm getting the iMac.
That's how to be successful.
This weekend, the wife and I are getting an iMac (we decided against the Power Mac) G5. Then, that's when I start making all those short films that Scott and I have been wanting to make. Maybe next year during snubfest, Don Hall will see our next project and say, "Excellent idea, excellently executed." But hopefully the world take over will have progressed beyond snubfest at this point.
This is where part two comes in.
I'm going to go to the website of hypnotist Marshall Sylver "The greatest hypnotist I've ever seen." says Howard Stern. And I'm going to buy his videos on how to hypnotize others (and the slender one and the non-smoking one because Cathy is having trouble quitting smoking) and then I'm going to hypnotize everyone that sees me into telling others how great I am and then to vote for me whenever there is voting involved. And then finally when enough people convince both Andrew Alexander, Mick Napier and Charna Halpern that Lorne Michaels needs me, I'll get on Saturday Night Live and I'll hypnotize all of them until only the things that I want on the air will get there. Mostly that'll be stuff that I or Scott write and star in.
Then, I'll hypnotize the country on the air and then I'll start making crazy movies from the white house because I'll be president too by then (not through hypnosis but because the american people vote for the guy who seems the friendliest.).
Then, I'll return the videos to Marshall Sylver and tell him they didn't work so I could get my money back. Then I'll give Don Hall a ride home on the back of the worlds most intelligent burro. A burro that I will have hypnotized to play poker and smoke cigars which Don will sell him.
That's how to be successful.
Then we'll all die, me last, and when I get to the after life, everyone will be waiting there for me shaking their fists in mock displays of anger. Many will say, "You crazy guy! Here's a funny hat!" and they'll give me funny hats. And then Marshall Sylver will shake my hand and say, "Do you really know that poker smoker burro?" And I'll be like, "Sure." and I'll walk off like I didn't know that he wanted to meet the burro. But then I'll find, much to my dismay that hypnosis doesn't work in a completely telepathic world. Only brute force! And then Marshall Sylver will say "1,2,3 awake!" and I'll finish this blog entry in my regular apartment without any influence on anyone. And then I'll say, "It's nice to pretend." and I'll have a bowl of cereal. Then this weekend I'm getting the iMac.
That's how to be successful.
posted by Churchill at 7:49 AM
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