A pre-emptive strike.

Lick Your Wounds went really well last night. It went the way it should for the first time. Very interactive. A lot of dialoge with the audience as well as some great scene work and some fun psychological tests for the audience from which we gleened more info for more great scenes.
No critic.
No problem.
The critic didn't come this week. Oh well. As much as I'd love us to get a glowing review in a big paper for this show, I kind of don't want critics to know about this show. Because all the stuff I love and that people who watch me love to watch is stuff that is for them. It's never for critics. I guess that's because a lot of critics became critics because it was the only way to get even with the kids who could do the stuff they were too awkward or unskilled to do. I also imagine that someone like me, who is easily liked, has got to piss off a critic from the get go.
Why, if everyone knows that critics are not good guages of "fun" in a show, do people still read their criticisms? Or do the even read them? Is it possible that the papers that they write for are successful despite the critics columns?
Is it possible that critics are useless?
Probably...except that publicity is nice.
What would be great is to have a psychologist review the critics and have their columns side by side with the criticism of a piece of theater or music by that critic. That way the show's specific demographic could see if the critic was even "in" on the message that that piece of theater or music was sending. If the critic is a 45 year old aspiring spinster who lives with seven cats but loves to criticize (especially males), then the reader will read that and discount her disparaging remarks about the men in the cast or the young urban humor. I don't think Hedy Weiss should be reviewing "The Latin Kings of Comedy". And that's why I love it.
Like if Jim Derogaitis reviewed the most recent Neil Diamond album. Of course he'd hate it. It's not for mass consumption anymore. But Neil's fans. They get it. And they love it. Or if Roger Ebert reviewed that time you stole your best friends girls panties and acted like you didn't know what he was talking about. Roger Ebert wasn't there. And he's never stolen panties.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, to all those who read this and aren't already in "Lick Your Wounds" and intend on seeing it someday in the future, don't be swayed if there's a negative review because chances are the critic is who we're making fun of in some subconscious round about way and the critic probably won't even know that that's why he/she hates it.

But if they like the show, then they're right. It's really good.

The people in need of trolleys.

Nothing important really happened today except that trolley had another barbecue wherein there was a dunk tank thing and a volleyball net.
I enjoyed the lemonade.
I then spent 20 minutes walking around looking for wiffle balls with a five year old.
Then a mechanic changed the wifes back right tire and we dropped a guy off at the train.
Don't expect anything interesting in my blogs until August.
Oh...except a guy's been going around brazenly and boldly in broad day light stealing tips right in front of drivers. Weird. I decided that if I saw him today and he tried it that I would act quickly and severely to prevent him from getting far with my money. Luckily it never came to that. But let me just say, in my mind I'm a ninja.
A trolley ninja.
I also saw my favorite homeless Micronesian again today. This guy named Philemon who claims to be stranded in Chicago for the past year was sitting at the water tower today. He waved at me. His ass crack was showing and his teeth keep getting worse. Before too long, he's gonna be a real homeless guy. Not like that former driver Aussie Mike who dabbled in homelessness before taking a job in Oak Park and moving into the YMCA...quitter.
Oh and a lady slept on my trolley for 3 hours. I didn't complain. It's probably hard to sleep in shelters or on concrete. She didn't stink or bother anyone. Except she kept masturbating with the fire extinguisher. But she's cool.
I haven't seen ol' guy without a face this year. I guess he moved on to another town where a guy without a face can still bring about looks of shock and terror. Not in Chicago. We've got George Wendt.
Lastly though, a very sickly looking lady with a backpack got on my trolley a half hour before we shut down. She was trying to get to the hospital but was reluctant to tell me exactly where she was going. I could have guessed that she was going there simply because she was probably 5'-9" and maybe 95 lbs (with the back pack). But somehow I could tell that she was very pretty. I felt sorry for her yet attracted to her. Maybe it's that "I could save her" thing. But also, she reminded me of my niece Madeleine...only much older. Same eyes, smile and voice. It was as if in 20 years, Madeleine gets really sick and goes back in time to see her uncle drive a trolley.
I felt so bad for this lady. She was trying not to be a bother and not to ask for anything special, which of course made me want to go out of my way to help. I wanted to drive her all the way to the hospital but I was afraid that that might be a dangerous thing to do with a trolley marked for the "free shuttles". I could get in real trouble. But at the same time I wanted to help. Ultimately I didn't do what I wanted to. I dropped her 2 1/2 miles from where she was going. She started walking. And I started practicing how I was going to tell this story to my wife so that she would feel bad for this lady too and so that in the future, I would have her tacet approval to do nice things on the clock.
Yeah, nothing important happened to me today.

This is a blog entry.

I drove around in a trolley today.
I picked people up.
I dropped people off.
I ate lunch.
I returned to my trolley and completed my duties.
It was hot and boring.
I do not look forward to doing it tomorrow.
I broke into my own storage room and took my air conditioner out.
We then delivered it to the apartment of hot sandwich.

I am washing clothes.
I am not looking forward to drying them.
I am looking forward to sleeping until work is partially over without my help tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a barbecue at work during which I will pass out post cards for "Lick Your Wounds" so that many will attend this friday when the Reader critic is there.
I expect a bad review. Because the Reader hates us.
I think.
At least if I expect a bad review, I won't feel so bad getting one.
But I will try my hardest to have a good show.

I am excellent.
I must retire to the restroom.
It is hot and I am tired.
Out.

Gay Pride and acting for money and/or pride.

Yesterday I drove a trolley for the Gay Pride Parade (for the second year in a row).
A lot of good gays. Gotta love the gays.
No lesbians wearing men's briefs as bras this year.
Only one enclave of gay-hating religious people.
More gay religious organizations this year.
I was behind a float for gay marriage.
Hot.
Long.
Gay.
Oh, that reminds me. I was just ahead of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.
And...I introduced myself to a guy from "Naked Boys Singing" because a friend of mine used to be in that show and so I went to see it.

I was driving for Chemically Imbalanced Comedy and the Cornservatory. We passed out flyers to people.
By the way, if anybody sees the flyer or poster for "Lick Your Wounds" at the Water Tower by the hot tix booth, that's my show, I helped create it, I host it and I drew the poster. Angela helped create it and layed the poster out.
It's a good show and The Reader is coming to see it this week so come see it.

As much as I love the Gays and Pride, I say this to you: Don't be gay. Come see "Lick Your Wounds" this week.

Twice a gay man reached into the trolley and touched my leg. That didn't happen last year. I must've gotten gayer or sexier when I had to die my hair.

Today, I had my first rehearsal for a children's show called "Hogwash". I played music today but in two weeks I'll be a character in the show too.

As I've said before, I recently promised myself that I will no longer take any gigs that don't A.) pay something or B.) help my or my theater company's resume'.

Hogwash pays a little, once we start doing the shows...September.
Stand-up pays. Little acoustic music shows usually pay.
I have to try to get out to see a show called "Don't Spit the Water" because I was told that if I saw it and came to talk to them after the show that they were interested in hiring me. It pays a little too.

I saw an ad for basically a full-time acting gig for school assemblies about moral issues. It pays really well. Gotta send out the resume' and headshot tomorrow or sooner.

Gotta check with Lily's (talent agency) regarding my check for the Simon Cowelll thing I did.

I'm really excited about the sketch group I'm directing. We're gonna be ready by the end of the summer for our first show and it will be great. We're gonna do weird, fun shows.