The book I'm working on...

I decided that I want to post a random couple paragraphs from the first draft of the book I'm writing. Without giving you any sort of context, I give you a portion of the climax of the book:

“Please proceed slowly and carefully to the tables and counters as they are available. Please do not drink coffee quickly as it can burn your throat. At such time as it is deemed appropriate I will ask three holiday themed trivia questions. And now a toast. To the holidays. You may drink.”

My shoulders quaked, as if I was being pulled back by the giant unseen hand of God. The spirit of John Smith was giving my spirit an allergic reaction. I disapproved.

“I must add conditions. If you don’t mind, John.”



---why the boring name you might ask, blog reader? Who's talking to who? You will find out later when it's done. And who knows? By then, this part may have been edited out.

Singing Through the Pain

I watched much of "Singing in the Rain" tonight. It was kind of a dare. My Film Genre's teacher said to the class, "you don't like musicals?" And he explained to us why we did. Then he played much of "Singing in the Rain". Of course, most of us loved it. But the troubling thing was a subtopic that came up. Turns out Debbie Reynolds danced till her feet bled. Donald O'Connor spent a week in the hospital after "Make 'em Laugh". That's just "Singing in the Rain". Did you know Buster Keaton only found out ten years after the fact that he'd broken his collarbone making a movie? Did you know I think I broke my foot 13 years ago and didn't figure it out til this year? Did you further know: George Clooney actually drowned for real three times during "Perfect Storm"? Fred "Rerun" Berry was NOT an audioanimatronic machine? Asimo, the Robot made by Honda is on seventeen sex offender websites? God had to be recast at the last minute because the first guy was finite? Don Rickels has a cold RIGHT NOW? It's a crazy world folks. And the movies are crazy too. And sometimes the people in the world are also in movies. And the people in the movies are also in the world. That gets confusing for people that just like smiling and nodding at strangers. That's me. The reason why I mention all this is, if I'm making this next low budget movie, (and I am) I won't be making people work too hard. Because I can't pay hospital bills or even buy anyone new shoes. The "did you knows" coming out of the production of my next move will be things like: "Did you know Churchill shit himself three lines into that take?" "Did you know that this character wasn't in the original script? He just wandered onto camera from a nearby homeless shelter and Chris was afraid to tell him to leave." You know. Stuff like that.

Four hot dogs

That's right. Four hot dogs I've never had four hot dogs. But it was the nacho cheese and smashed tortilla chips that made it happen. The recipe is easy.
One part hot dog. One part nacho cheese and smashed tortilla chips. One part hoping it all works out.
I've been told this is how they do it in Tuscon. They make and eat four hot dogs and sit out in the sun until they go bad.
All in all, it was three too many hot dogs but I didn't have enough ice cream to make me feel bad so...as they say in Tucson, "eat four hot dogs."
In Phoenix, they say, "when in Tuscon...?...!"
I went through all this trouble because Chicago Style Hot Dogs are terrible. Except for the ones they serve at Alinea.
I'm making another website. This one is for the people working on "The Edge Of The Parking Lot" (my newest movie).
Full disclosure: There are sausages in the movie.