Happy rings around Uranus!

I'm so glad George Takei came out as gay. He's so interesting and it's only because of his dignity and confidence combined with his relatively effeminate affect and super deep voice that he is so interesting. What a life. Japanese interment camp. Rivalries with Shatner. I even sent him an e-mail of support. I guess, secretly, I wish I was gay (well minus the oppression and hate crimes) because that whole community seems to be having a really good time. I mean, sure, I've really only been immersed in it during the couple of gay pride parades I've driven trolleys for.
By the way, George Takei is also one of the best voices (in entertainment as well as) on the Simpsons.
And he confirmed on Stern today that Shatner wore a wig and a girdle even on the original Star Trek series.
What do you think Shatner looks like? Uncle Fester? I hope so.
You want to do something to you metabolism that you probably shouldn't do? Work out a lot before breakfast. You'll be starving all day long. Which will lead to you eating all day long. Which will lead to you gaining seven pounds in one day. That literally happened to me yesterday. I weigh 225 now! Yay! Give me that girdle, Sulu!
I'll bet there weren't supposed to be overweight people in Star Trek because if someone got too heavy, they could just beam over all of them except the fat. That's the future!
By the way, (kind of on this whole track) I've been seeing these commercials for that really gay (not in the fun homosexual meaning of the word but rather, the coming off as effeminate when one isn't trying to sort of way) work out guy, John Basedow. And I can't get his stupid theme song out my head, "He's John Basedow. He's gonna show you how!" No he's not. I was born the way I am. You can't convert people, Mr. Basedow. There are two types of work out champions. The Awesome Kind-The people who are in really good shape and look great and are in good health and then they go live their lives. Then there are the John Basedow types. They're a little off. A little strange. A little creepy. A little douchy. A little angry. A little "gay" (meaning #2 from above parenthesese.).
And the reason why George Takei is cool is that he is gay (meaning #1) and not a Basedow in anyway.

Sophomore Jinx but still great.

Improv at a bar. It was fine. We were "The Mistakes" which was fun. It was the second time doing this show. The first time was magical. Tonight was the expected sophomore jinx. And also, the room seems a little dead. But all in all I think we did a great show. Chris Churchill, Chris Hauser and F. Tyler Burnett. (Special phone call appearance by Scott McNulty.) We know it's a weird fun show but we don't know how to explain it yet. People tell us it's a middle finger to the "rules" of improv. There's a lot of calling stuff out. There's a lot of purposefully being distracted. There's also a lot of completely organic (and I mean more organic than I've seen before...like people sitting around a campfire telling stories to their friends organic) changes from scene to scene to real life to monologue to experiment to real life to scene. We use our surroundings and the audience as much as we use each other. Instead of saying, "Don't call that out. Don't waste too much time doing stuff other than the show. Don't do non-theatrical things. Don't, don't, don't." we see all the possible distractions and emprace them. "There are no mistakes. Only happy accidents."-The late painter Bob Ross.
We got our suggestion about seventeen minutes into the twenty-five minute show. Then we didn't use it too much which is completely the right thing to do. The real barprov furniture, real darts, real foosball, real celphone, real discussions of real things made their way into our scenes. Not too many "characters"... although not completely devoid of characters. Where were the relationships? There was only the real one that the three of us really have that was consistent throughout. And that was intentional.
The point is: when you really like each other (which can't be taught), when you're really intelligent (which can only have already been taught) and when you trust that you all are part of and enjoying the same overall game regardless of what the game is (which is barely even conceptually understood by most improvisors) there can be no mistakes...just fun distractions on the road trip. And as John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." Apparently so it good improv.
We've got another show at "The Playground" on Sunday at 10:30pm (part of something called "Overstock"). Then we go up at the cornservatory on November 26th. We should get a director who hates improv as much as we do to direct us and we should do a run at IO or someplace like that.
Oh, for those of you who were looking for funny blog, here goes:

Belly button.

THE VICEROY OF TIME!!

THE VICEROY OF TIME!!! We are all trapped in his mansion as he is in ours! We are intertwined. The lover and the beloved. Husband and wife. Lord and subject. ALL IN ONE FABRIC!
It is the VICEROY's powers that sustain the CO-GOVERNORS and give us a mission. And that mission is to please the VICEROY and all of it's underlings.
By the way, THE VICEROY OF TIME walks into a bar and says "i am THE VICEROY OF TIME and I require libation!" To which the BARTENDER OF CIRCUMSTANCE replies, "I'm sorry, sir but I can't serve you. It's 1:59 and the bar closes in fifteen seconds. We don't have the time." To which THE VICEROY OF TIME exclaimed, "You know not the depth of your own ignorance! I am THE VICEROY OF TIME and I have all the time in the universe." And then THE VICEROY OF TIME left the bar only to return a half hour earlier.
Who will be our BARTENDER OF CIRCUMSTANCE? Who will petition us to become the ALDERMAN OF REALITY!! Or is that already my job? Any MAYORS OF THOUGHT out there with the answers?
Forget all those titles. It is the CO-GOVERNORS OF SPACE that have the true power. For without space REALITY can't even get out of its own REALITYMOBILE to wreak havoc in the PARKING LOT OF EXISTENCE! Even now MONKEYS OF RAGE are scoffing at THE ALDERMANS claims of power over the CO-GOVERNORS. And you don't want to be scoffed at by the MONKEYS OF RAGE!. They wield the POOP OF VENGEANCE which rains down with a gurth, velocity and viscosity that leaves only the MINI-ELVES OF SHAME left to rebuild.
Now, VICEROY, are you comfortable with your choice?
...
As are we. As are we...

Communique'

Had a meeting with the Co-Governors today. Excellent progress. We're all on board. And we see other ships attempting to rendezvous with us. The S.S. Nate Herman is in communication. An escape pod from the S.S. Cupid Players has also made overtures. This evening (monday), we will port at Gingers Ale House where our missionaries, "The Mistakes" will make first contact with the regulars of this bar. While, I personally had not desire for performing in a non-paying barprov situation, I have agreed to do this because we need to run through our extremely loose, relaxed, no rules at all, improv style in front of an audience again.
Has the S.S. Don Hall received and reviewed all pertinent documents? If the S.S. Don Hall has, then a communique' would be much appreciated regarding the analasys of these documents. Ever seen improv done by people who generally dislike improv and all of its contrivances? Come to Gingers Ale House tomorrow. We'll be pillaging a nice community of young, inexperienced improvisors.
Who else has stated interested in helping the new cause? Santa the Claus has sent a message (unable to determine it's authenticity until it is further scrutinized) suggesting an interest in helping.
Don't lose the fear. The fear is what keeps us here.
This pet that I hold so dear. From this path, we shall not veer.
Don't get too sure. Certainty makes this unpure.
Stay near the floor. And from this place, we'll take the tour.
Hold on to this. And let go, I also insist.
What did I miss? Something and nothing. Now give me a kiss.

We are looking for that meter wide weak spot in the death star. I'm focussing my laser. Now where is that spot? Pull the trigger...Nice!

The next three months will consist of fulfilling three missions.
1. Destroying all resistance to our conquest of the Last Snob Standing competition by executing our ideas perfectly and without interference.
2. Spreading the message of Wilfred Brimley to the Americas.
3. Beginning work on a baffling play.

Well, it seems that the future is calling me even as I type. The future says, "Governor Churchron, you must get in the fastest vehicle to me, the night's sleep, so that we may communicate more clearly tomorrow."
And to that request I say, "Goodnight!"