You wanted a new post...

So a bad man has posted that I need to post something new. Well, let me tell you something: A dogs saliva is antiseptic and helps to heal wounds.
Put that in your wounds and lick them.
By the way, last night was going to be my last night performing in "Lick Your Wounds" for a while because I'm tired and I need to have some friday nights off.
However, I had a rehearsal for a children's show I'm in. Today I have an audition for a children's show. Then a party. Then another party.
Then I do something...
else.

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So...what're you doing?



That's a nice hat...I think...Oh that's not a hat? That's your head. Hmm. Well, you have a very practical and colorful head.


So...you think it's gonna rain today...

...

well...that looks like my bus...Yeah, I know I'm at my computer desk typing. But...I...Damnit! That WAS my bus and all this discussion of where the bus stops has caused me to miss it!


Okay...You caught me.


That wasn't my bus. It was a tall man in a yellow coat laying down because he's dead. So, do you want the good news or the bad news? Okay...The bad news is: He's dead. The good news is: I haven't missed him. I could sit here and type all day and he'll still be there waiting to take me to KMart.

So...these gas prices. My wife says that gas should level off around $2.75 a gallon for the cheap stuff and that everyone will be so relieved that the government will make that the new normal gas price.

George Bush doesn't care about black people.


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I think that Bush is in so much trouble and his party is in so much trouble that gas will sink down to 2002 prices within a year so that people in the republican states will forgive him for his fumbling of the Katrina thing. Americans are just dumb enough and shallow enough and insulated enough that cheap gas and keeping the gays from getting married will forgive all sorts of E. Coli death and drownings of poor New Orleansians. A dialoge in Idaho might go like this:

"Remember that thing in New Orleans?
"Yeah that was too bad."
"You wanna do some doughnuts in the National Parks? Gas is $1.20 a galllon."
"Will there be any married queers there?"
"Not if God is still working for US."
"If we see any, let's do a doughnut on them."
"No. Doughnuts are a gay symbol. It's like a prostate."
"Then let's just ram a gas pump up to my prostate and see what empties out first, my wallet or my colon!"
"Yay! Let's get rid of Term Limits! George Bush in '08!"

That was in Pocatello, Idaho. During a church service. Those are the lyrics to one of their most popular hymns. It can be sung to the tune of Adeste Fideles. (Repeating line 3 three times.)

That'll teach you to ask me to post something new.