padding-top:30px;
<
Google

Thursday, December 01, 2005

An unrequested day off from work.

The peril of choosing to drive a trolley for a living is that some times your shift is cancelled and suddenly there's $100 less on your next paycheck. Well, okay after taxes $75. But still. Less money is less money. And today was the regular city tour shift.

For those who might happen upon this blog without knowing the ways of the trolley driver, the city tour is what you think it is. I drive the trolley and give the tour. A lot of people assume that that's all that a trolley driver does. It's also the thing that causes most people to come to the office and apply for the job in the first place. We show up all fresh faced and positive and we believe that "this is the job for me" because we're funny, we're charming, we're smart and, doggone it. people like us. We learn the route and the information and go out there that first day where we learn the biggest part of the job. That thing that we quickly learn is how boring and painful it is to do the city tour and how often you're not "performing" and doing "comedy" for the people so much as you're screaming and waving, trying to get their attention. Oh and don't forget how much of the time you spend talking over people who are sitting next to you and are talking to someone else at the back of the trolley. And, of course, there are cel phones (unbelievable that on a city tour anyone should be told to turn off their cellular phones) and people who think that, because they are shouting in a language that I don't understand, that I can't hear it and every so often someone will actually behave in a manner that is dangerous to themselves or others.

So, I've explained it. No one likes to do the tour after the first week of doing it. We long for the charters and some of the shuttles. We long for the pick-ups at the hotel, drop them at the boat and wait for four hours and then take them back to the hotel...because it's not work, it's hanging out somewhere getting paid. We also long for the busy shuttle days when everyone is cheerful on Michigan Avenue and, more importantly, they're generous and you make a load of money.

Nevertheless, today I would rather have worked. I work tomorrow and the next two days. Saturday is a long day...so that's good. Hopefully they'll all be well tipped charters.

I was on the way to work with my wife when I got the call. The very cheerful, new manager in training, Kevin cheerfully informed me that I was out a "C" note.

Well, this is the plan then. Last night I couldn't sleep. I was panicking about being old and not having accomplished anything. I've been considering going back to school...maybe I'll study physics. But really, what I was worried about is this self-imposed withdrawal from performing locally until "The Co-Governors of Space" get off the ground with our first sketch show and subsequent first play. I really feel like all my options are starting to fade away. It's like that scene in "The Empire Strikes Back" when the Millenium Falcon is hiding from an attack in an asteroid that they eventually figure out isn't an asteroid at all. It's the inside of a giant reptillian creature (I don't buy that premise, by the way. What's that thing eating out there? What's it breathing? Then Homer Simpson replies, "Air" to which the warden of the prison replies, "There ain't no air in space." And then Homer says, "There's an Air in Space Museum.") Anyway, the Millenium Falcon, like me suddenly realizes it may be too late to escape it's fate...this might be it. So, they begin to fly to the mouth of the cave they're in. The mouth (which is an actual giant lizard mouth) begins to close. The closer they get to the escape, the narrower the escape becomes until they just barely get out with their lives. I feel like I'm flying toward my goal but that the opportunity to escape my current situation to get to my goal is becoming narrower and narrower.

It's amazing what a whole Totinos pizza right before bed will do to your blood pressure and your sense of life passing you by. It must be the high sodium content.

So, immediately after I type this I should get to work. I'll finish the music that Chris Hauser and I worked on. I'm editting it on my computer, adding new stuff and making weird incidental music/songs to use as bumpers and as pre-show music or as the beginnings of other things for "The Co-Governors..." Then, I've got to write the sketches that I'm responsible for for the January sketch show as well as brainstorm and write some of the film for the day before the sketch show. Then, mail out the transcript request. Then, do the wifes delicate laundry. Then work on more stuff. And more stuff. Must make this day worth while.

Today, I will drive myself crazy...that reminds me...I wonder when my van will get fixed.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The seven minute blog.

In the seven minutes before I call in to work to see if they need me to drive a trolley today, I'm writing this blog. I had a good Thanksgiving. Friends over. Wife is excellent cook.
Last night, met with Co-Governors of Space to begin building our first mission. Hoping one day to have Space Station. Woke in the middle of the night worrying about whether or not Wilfred Brimley or Liberty Medical might somehow hear about our "Wilfred Brimley Liberty Medical Showcase" that we're doing. So this morning, I thought about maybe changing the name to the "Willard Bimley Liberty Memorial Showcase". That'll fool 'em.

Good ideas coming out.

Got three days off in a row. That means I have time to get some writing, housework, planning for continuing college and working out done...if I can get off the couch.

Two days ago, I accidentally broadcasted to a trolley overfilled with Christmas Museum goers, an obscenity. That's not very Christmas friendly. I'll probably get coal now.

I had filled my Ipod with five and a half hours of Christmas music so that I would only have to listen to everything twice. However, a mistake was made in screening the tunes. We were all having a great time and suddenly I hear, "Here comes Fatty with his sack of shit. Here comes Fatty with his sack of shit." And I clicked to the next song. oops.

By the way, that song is from the John Waters Christmas album. Buy it if you can find it. It's great. It's all songs he selected for his ultimate Christmas collection.

Welp. 9:15. Gotta call work.