The beginning.

Larry:
One day a young little person was in a lab and was accidentally bitten by a radio active bad idea. He fell asleep and became The Daydreamer!

Children: (adlib)
And then what happened? Are you and elf? Where's the Lizard?

Larry:
Listen kids. I hate kids and as soon as your teacher gets back, I'm going to get back to work fixing the toilet in the boys room. Who wants to shake my hand?

Children:(Ad lib)
You smell like throw-up.

Larry:
You look like teenage car accident death statistics.

Children:
Tell us a story!

Larry:
And then you'll shut your little fat faces?

Children:
Yes!

Larry:
Well after Santa Clause was killed by the evil Eskimo, Mr. Magatuk, the world grew very dark for several centuries. You were already dead by this point. But I was there. Thanking Mr. Magatuk and the Lizard for ruining Christmas when they asked me if I was an elf. Then a whole bunch of bad stuff happened. Went on for a long time. Then I saw this happen:
(The following scenes happen as if told in flashback.)

The part before The End.

Mr. Magatuk
(To his lizard friend)
I've replaced his regular shoes with these...poison pointy shoes.
(Lizard cackles and hisses.)

Lizard
I'll deliver these toute suite.

Mr. Magatuk
You've been studying French?

Lizard
I can't say I've been studying. But I'm a practitioner of the French Arts.

Mr. Magatuk
I suppose with that forked tongue, you'd be great at that.

Lizard
Hey, if I'm going to do your bidding AND catch the end of Monday Night Football, I've got to go.

Mr. Magatuk
Do what you must. I'll daydream while you're gone.

Lizard
Never cover youself entirely in the blanket of "what if", my friend. It is while you dream that reality puts a pillow over your real face.

Mr. Magatuk
Advice from a lizard.

Lizard
I'm not a lizard. I'm THE Lizard. Don't forget that.

Mr. Magatuk
THE Lizard?

Lizard
Yep. Is it coming back to you now? Treachery is only good until dinner. Then you nervously finish your meal, you absently watch crap on television and you worry yourself to sleep wondering when the other
(holds up the shoes)
shoe will drop.
(Lizard leaves.)

Mr. Magatuk
Where is Lena?

Larry
(Arriving holding up Lena's head.)
Do you mean, "where's the rest of Lena?"

Mr. Magatuk
How'd you get those shoes on so quickly?

Larry
The Lizard does magic too, you know.

Mr. Magatuk
How cute. You've decapitated my wife and now you're going to kill me, I suppose.

Larry
You don't seem very upset.

Mr. Magatuk
I was gonna kill her today anyway.

Larry
(Kicks at Mr. Magatuks legs. Magatuk falls down.)
Now, why don't you pick on someone your own size!
(Starts kicking at Mr. Magatuk.)

The End.

I decided that since these blogs post with the most recent post on top, that I'd like to write a play, little by little, day by day, from end to beginning. And I also decided that someday I want to meet and hang out with some little people. So here's the end of the play starring a little person in the role of Larry.

Larry
(Kicking Mr. Magatuk as he lies on the ground.)
And there's your f***ing pointy shoes! Har-har!

Mr. Magatuk
Wait! Wait! Larry! You've won! You can stop killing me now! You've won!

Larry
(Slows down his kicking but he's still kicking. It resembles the kicking that the Lollipop Guild from the Wizard of Oz were doing when they were dancing as they sang their song.)
I'm listening. But I'm still kicking you to death.

Mr. Magatuk
In Inuit culture, the man who bests me at my own game becomes a magical being.

Larry
I'm already magical. I'm an elf! Right! Har-har!
(Speeds up the kicking.)

Mr. Magatuk
Point taken. Ooooh! If you'll just stop killing me for a second, I could finish my thought.

Larry
(Pauses. Then resumes.)
Was that enough time?

Mr. Magatuk
Of course it was. I'm a man of my word. You, of course, are not an elf. I was being rude and unfair when I called you that. You're a little person. With pointy steel toed kicking shoes. But, what you don't know is that I, the most average person you know, am not so average. Still waters run deep, little Larry.

Larry
No, you can't fool me. You're just like everybody else! You're wrapped up in your own average sized problems in your average sized house with average sized kids and your average job. You don't care about people who are outside the norm. We scare you.

Mr. Magatuk
Real average people are scared by you. But I'm not really average. Remember that drink you had at the Magic Bar?

Larry
Yes.

Mr. Magatuk
What was it called?

Larry
"Don't drink this unless you want you're darkest inner aspirations to become real and personified in a mythical being with an Inuit last name that the Inuit don't know about but that has always existed." Wow. I guess I should have taken that more literally than I did.

Mr. Magatuk
Yeah. Magic Bar's don't fool around, man. I'm you, man! Or at least I'm the "you" you thought you wanted to be.

Larry
So you said, I get to become a magical being?

Mr. Magatuk
Yeah, I said that because you always wanted to be able to lie better. You just become me. And by that I mean, you become what you really want to be. Which is me.

Larry
Not anymore. I like me. And I like you. And I like these boots. And I like kicking people to death. Are you really a mythical creature?

Mr. Magatuk
Yes.

Larry
So I could kick you to death and not get in trouble?

Mr. Magatuk
I guess.

Larry
(Turns to the audience.)
Well it sounds as if I get a freebie, folks. And that's a great thing. I've been angry for a long time. And after tonight, I won't be. Good night everyone!