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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Smell you later.

I'm finding that my wild theories are becoming more manageable now that I'm starting to feel better. I still have plenty of them but I can write them into a sketch or a poem or a song and let them go. Convenient to be able to write how you feel. But what about all those people that can only write what they smell? What about those unfortunate souls? Let me show you an excerpt from the "Olfactory News":

"I smelled flowers today. They smelled good. Then I didn't smell much of anything for about ten minutes. Then I burped and smelled that a little bit. Then I became aware that something was on my moustache that smelled burnt. That bothered me for hours. Then the Presidents Motorcade kicked up a lot of exhaust and street dirt. It was hard to smell anything else at first. Eventually I smelled the smell of gunpowder and then the unmistakable iron smell of blood gurgling through my sinuses. I'm better now but as soon as the smell of antiseptic is removed from me, I imagine I'll be smelling urine and other inmates ass for many years to come."

That was John Hinkleys "Smell Journal"

See. It's tough. It's really tough.

Monday, April 17, 2006

An interesting experience.

Just wanted to document a pretty cool experience. I went to a friends wedding and, as is common amongst my friends and I, the wedding was very non-traditional. It was held outside on a farm in Kansas. There was a guy in a prairie dog outfit. There were buddhist flags and native american flutes and feathers. It was pretty cool.
Well as part of the whole weekends festivities, they arranged to have a Cheyenne Sweat Ceremony. A man named Scott who was trained by the Cheyenne in various ceremonies facilitated the ceremony. There were two separate ceremonies in case some couldn't make the first one. I couldn't make the first one so I hit the second. This whole thing was important to me as I've always been curious about my own native american roots. I'm part Osage, not Cheyenne, but it'll do in a pinch.
We had to walk across the farm down into the woods where a sweat lodge had been constructed out of tree limbs and blankets. I'm sure if there had been buffalo running around, we wouldn't have used blankets. After we arrived, Scott introduced himself. We stood next to a big campfire. I know fire is hot but this fire seemed to be hot for a large area surrounding the fire. If you looked into the campfire, you could see that under the wood that was burning there were stones. These were volcanic rocks and as Scott explained to us, the native american lore is that the rocks were the worlds first people. Of course this evokes the idea that they have souls which is also believed and taught be the native people. During the ceremony I began to believe it as well. My friend Avrit and I were responsible for digging the rocks out of the fire with a shovel and then, with a pitchfork, bringing them into the sweat lodge. We all individually circled the lodge in clockwise direction and then at the entrance to the lodge we held our hands to the sky and spun once more. Then we entered the lodge. Pretty cosy in there at first. Including Scott, there were six of us in this tiny lodge. We were shoulder to shoulder. I somehow gave up my duty as rock bringer to Avrit. Fine by me. I'm pretty lazy by nature.
So we all watched as Avrit (a man who had the night before fallen down a couple steps and was sure he had cracked a rib) brought the rocks to the entrance of the lodge. Scott, with two forked sticks, placed the rocks in the pit in the center of the lodge. Already, it was very warm. I was thinking, "hmm. warm. This isn't so bad". I was starting to sweat but we weren't even close to hot yet.
Scott then blessed the water in the sherwin williams bucket by touching the bucket to the rocks and saying some Cheyenne blessing. Then he began pouring the water on the rocks. The steam began to rise. Hot. Hotter. Hotter still. I cringed and shrunk away from the steam for a moment because it was so hot. Scott informed us that the best way to deal with the heat was to breathe it in. I did and I felt better.
Now I could probably write the worlds longest blog entry about the intricacies of the ceremony. The prayers, the songs, the emotional reactions of the participants could be described but I'm sure your eyes are already getting tired and, to tell the truth, it's probably not appropriate to blab to everybody about what everyone said in such an intense experience.
Suffice it to say that, I've never been so hot or worked so hard while sitting down. The mere effort it took to breathe was amazing but also exciting. The singing of the songs made the breathing easier, believe it or not. There were four stages of the ceremony. One where we prayed for the children, then the adolescents, the adults and then the ancestors. When my mind wandered, it took me to a plain somewhere in the past where some of my native ancestors must have lived at one time. On another occasion, I pictured seven generations of ancestors before me, gathering together in the afterworld to meet and get along. At another time, in the darkness of my mind, a particle began to race around the inside of my mind in a circle at high speeds. It was as if I was watching a ceiling fan that wasn't there. I remember thinking, "Hey, that's going counterclockwise. It should be going clockwise."
Well ultimately it ended. I was so glad to be out in the normal outdoor air. We drank water and quietly talked about some of our experience.
I assumed it had taken about 45 minutes to an hour. It turns out we were in there burning up for more than two hours. I remember thinking that nothing much really changed inside me. It turns out that the effects started then. They've been growing inside me ever since. A lot of really personal beliefs and ideas. A feeling of connectedness to the people in the lodge and to everyone else.
Blah, blah, blah, sweat lodge, blah, blah.