I was a hit. Jordan woke up and her mother was gone so I used the old "act like nothings different and she's a competent, rational adult" thing to keep her from crying. I said to the six month old that "mom and dad are at work but they'll be back" and then I reminded her the sign language for "Chris" and "Nice". Then I think she did a sign for "Koko miss kittie. Koko cry." but I can't be sure.
We followed all her listed regimen. She ate, peed, pooped, cried, laughed and fell down alot. Then she started acting like she was teething finally. Making sucking sounds, etc. Maybe that was a critique of my babysitting style. Or perhaps she's another critic of our production of Woody Allen's "God". (By the way, great play. Audiences have been loving it. Regular people love it. Critics have been insulted by our removal of virtually any sign of the New York Jewish references. My reply is that "Woody Allen fans" {those who expect certain stuff from a Woody Allen production} can't have the monopoly on the enjoyment of a Woody Allen play. Some of us find Woody Allen funny in spite of all the New York Jewish stuff, hence proving the universiality of his comedy.) Jordan didn't understand all that when I explained it to her.
Then after snack, diaper, nap, diaper, snack, diaper, diaper, dinner; Jordan decided to taste my arm for a while. It made me laugh. I love that baby humans have to taste everything. I like to open my mouth and lay my tongue gently but purposefully on stuff all the time now just to pay homage to the baby humans. One time I saw a toddler at a store in a strip mall earnestly attempting to eat his way out through a glass door. It looked great to see this little bald head french kissing a clear surface.
Then mommy came home and I left.
Yes Jackie, I'm an excellent sitter and kids love me...eventually. It takes them a while to understand all my "bits". But once they catch on, they're hooked.

Here's how the dream affected today...

As usual the dreams are not ever very literal. Usually a vibe with some key symbols. The vibe of the dream was one of orchestrated success on a limitted scale. The success being (in the dream) a big show where my friends and former colleagues were there and were happy for me, etc. These were all improv people in the dream. (See the previous entry) etc.
Well this is the day:

I got asked to babysit for a real live baby because Lilly Allison couldn't do it. (Close but no cigar, Churchill).
I'm just glad I'm being trusted to take care of little Jordan McMahon. First the McMahons trained me on their cats. Now I get to watch a human. Soon, very soon, I'll be in charge of a sketch comedy troupe.

That's not what the dream was about.

Ultimately it turned out that I got informed today that it was between me and my buddy Scott to drive the cast of MadTV around and to their shows in a trolley for the Chicago Improv Festival. I then pleaded my case (that I used to be friends with Ike Barinholtz) and then I e-mailed Ike to have him request me as the driver. Then I confirmed that I was indeed the driver for one of the two nights with a group sales lady (Yolanda) who just happened to wander in to the office as I was leaving at 10:30pm. She works 9-5. Why so late, Yolanda? Just to fulfill my dreams? Yes. Yolanda saw to it that I'd be driving that shift on Saturday, April 30th.
So in a way, I was given an opportunity to do something relatively cool (by trolley driving standards, not failed sketch comedian standards) but I had to orchestrate things in such a way as to ensure that I'll indeed be the guy.

Oh and I'll bet Scott will be the other guy for friday. That's the night of Improv til Dawn anyway, so I'll be there doing something at some point near dawn.

So metaphorically the dream was pretty close. I'm the guy that all my colleagues (represented by Tony and Joanna...former colleagues) are happy for because of the theatrical turn (represented by the show) that my trolley driving will take on April 30th. This due partly to a stroke of luck (the feeling I had in my dream from the beginning was that I was given a chance to make something happen and I decided to make sure it happened) and my own orchestration.

Oh one last thing. If you're reading this thinking, "Wow Chris sure is excited about driving famous folks around. What's the big deal?" Yeah. You're right. And in the dream, no one was really all that excited either.
Tomorrow I move furniture from one side of the room to the other.

quick dream recounting

I had a dream this morning that I was in the back of a large theater and it was pretty full and everyone was watching something that I'd written or directed or something. I walked down the aisle after the show as people were filing out and I saw Tony and Joanna and Scott and plenty of others. They were all happy for me I guess...or at least giving the polite "good show" stuff to me.
I'm just writing this in case my day ahead brings me anything that I could twist around into thinking I had been warned about in my dream.
That's it for now. I'll let you know how the day goes.

I am made of lettuce.

Usually I have dreams that make some sort of sense to me. But yesterday I had a dream so nonsensical yet disturbing that I was "off" all day.
I dreamt that I looked down to the cuticle of my left thumb and saw that it was really far away from my nail. It was as if the skin on my hand was on a hinge and someone had forgotten to close my hand door. But I quickly realized that the reason why my hand skin was open was that there was too much lettuce in there. So I opened my hand skin and saw that there was just way too much shredded lettuce in me. It was all diced into half inch squares and packed tight within my hand. So I started brushing it off onto the floor. I didn't want to brush off too much because I began to think I might have been made entirely of lettuce on the inside at this point. So I just brushed off the exit.
Then, I think I threw up some lettuce. No liquid. Just lettuce.
For the first half hour or so after I woke up I still had the urge to brush the lettuce out of my hand. For the rest of the day yesterday, I kept feeling like if I coughed, lettuce would fly out of my mouth. It was bad enough that I had to convince myself it would be okay to have that McChicken sandwich at lunch.
I was uncomfortable all day yesterday.
Maybe I've been eating too healthy.